Episode 08 网球巨星德约科维奇童年时饱受战火煎熬，能走到今天靠的是...

Hey, what's up? Liu Yan here. Welcome to a new episode of They Said.

In case this is your first time listening, let me do a quick self-plug. They Said is a new program I launched recently. In each episode, I'll share a few clips from some of the most fascinating interviews I have come across. The interviewees are all prominent figures who have taught me great lessons in one way or another. Since I believe in lifelong learning, I hope these lessons will also help you in some capacity.

All right, let's get down to business.

The first clip I'm gonna share today is from Novak Djokovic. Most people know him as one of the greatest tennis players of all time, but I simply consider him a brother I never had. Sure, I love his tennis game, but I love him more as a human being. He has given me so much joy and strength over the years, he just feels like family at this point. 

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Being a Djokovic fan, I know the story very well, but this is the first time I heard him explicitly use the R-word, revenge, in public. It definitely shook me, and made me appreciate him more.

I believe we all have dark sides, but few are willing to admit this fact. I've been in far less serious situations than being bombed for no good reason, and I still wanted revenge! Oh, how I wished that whoever wronged me would experience pain and suffering for all of eternity!

That's why even if Djokovic held on to that thought, I don't think I'm in any position to judge him. Injustice can easily warp someone's mind and turn them into a bitter soul. What's amazing is that Djokovic sincerely let that negativity go, and went on to change the narrative of his story. 

I'm gonna venture a guess here that he pratices Oprah's favorite law. Yep, that Oprah, arguably the most famous woman in the world. 

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Oprah is not kidding. She has talked about Newton's Third Law of Motion so many times that even I can recite it! And I used to fail physics in high school, so that's saying something!

BTW, if you enjoy reading, you should check out Mark Manson's new book Everything Is Fucked.

Don't be intimidated by the title, the book is actually a pleasant read. Mark has also built on Newton’s Third Law (for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction) to understand our emotional push back — what he calls the moral gap. It's actually quite similar to what Oprah says in that clip.

I want to make one thing clear, though. "If you hurt me, I'll hurt you back" is never a good idea, but "If you hurt me, I'll just repress my pain" isn't much better, either. The best way to move forward is to verbalize your traumatic experience, like Djokovic did, or put it in writing.

James Pennebaker is a professor of psychology at UT Austin, and an expert on the power of expressing our emotions.

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I can't help but feel like this goes back to the Djokovic story again. He was written off by almost everyone, even his fans, after he suffered from a severe wrist injury and went into a two-year slump beginning in 2016. Yet the adversity didn't defeat him. He managed one of the biggest comebacks in sports history when he won two more Grand Slam titles in 2018 and climbed back to the No.1 ranking in the world. You know what the kicker is? He always attributes his comeback to his work on his inner self, on continuing to learn and grow as a person. That's extremely telling.

All right, that's it for today. If this is your first time listening to They Said, I hope you go back and listen to the previous episodes. I also hope you can share it with your friends, family, colleagues, or whomever. So get on your social media and start sharing. I sincerely thank you. My name is Liu Yan. Let's learn and grow together. See you next time!